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Camp Kawanhee
One summer in the mid-1960s, when Chuck Hoffhine and
I were more-or-less running the Boating Department,
young Doug Means had completed his S2 Level in Boating
with impressive skill and was almost done with his S3.
The final requirement for S3 was to "be able to
handle a boat under any conditions." Chuck devised a
practical test of that ability and, after giving a
heads-up to the other waterfront departments and to
Liz Comphor, Camp Nurse, sent Doug and me out in a
canoe. As planned, I suddenly went into feigned
cardiac arrest, epileptic seizure, and maybe an
attack of St. Vitus's Dance, flipping the canoe and
dumping Doug and myself into the water. I exhaled and
sank like a rock. Poor Doug recovered his wits, dove
down, and hauled me to the surface. He kept his head
and remembered the department rule, "Always stay with
the boat." Doug righted the canoe, managed to slop
most of the water out of it, dumped me into it, and
dragged everything back to shore with me playing dead.
Upon reaching shore, Doug threw me over his shoulder
and sprinted for the Infirmary. I think the jolting
ride on his shoulder was supposed to serve as a
primitive form of CPR (we still used the back-push,
arm-lift method in those days, so luckily none of us
had ever heard of mouth-to-mouth). When we arrived at
the Infirmary, Liz took pity on poor Doug and brought
the test to an end by pointing out to him the crowd of
counselors and campers who had followed us up the hill
at a discreet distance, half carrying Chuck and Fred
Ball, who were laughing too hard to walk. Doug was
awarded his much-deserved S3 level on the spot by
acclamation, but I don't think he has ever forgiven
us. I still feel pain in my ribs during damp weather. |